How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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