At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i came on her dog
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
