Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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