I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
