i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
