He told me they were just razor bumps!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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