I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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