You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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