my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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