nut hugger
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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