Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
