she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize