Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
