he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
