went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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