She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
