Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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