You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize