Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
