I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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