Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
