It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and she was petting her beer can
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
