my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize