all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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