Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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