at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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