just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
