I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
