new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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