nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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