You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize