i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
