I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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