Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
