you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
