Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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