What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
