That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
