Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Duck Duck Cougar?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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