I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
