the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
