I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
