Plan B is the new Plan A
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
