Need sex. Gaining weight.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
