Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
