I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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