he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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