I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize