We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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