No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
