i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
