u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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