Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Boobs are out for the taking
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
