Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I want is dick and wine.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
