I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
