she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize