They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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