This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
