We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
